The diary idea is a great one. I wrote in it when the anger and frustration became too much to take. I documented events and evenings that i cannot even remember clearly anymore without going back and reading. It really helped me get a lot of my feelings out and helped me look back over what that period of my life was like. Sometimes we block out stressful situations from our memory as time goes on....the diary doesn't allow you that luxury.
As a side note, my now sober A (for 2 yrs and 4 months) found and read my journal about 2-3 months ago. I came home to find him totally depressed and hurt. He never wanted to discuss any of what "happened" after he sobered up...even though I desperately needed him to know the gravity of some of the things that occurred. It smacked him in the face pretty hard (and the journal he found was the one I started around the time he was sobering up....NOT the one I kept during the worst of it!). I didn't want to hurt him, but I do believe he cannot fully recover without facing the reality of what was. I don't think THIS was the way though...LOL
GOOD LUCK, stay strong, and believe in YOU
