Just plain NUMB and that was where I wanted to be.
I didn't want to feel a thing and wanted to escape. SAD!
Now, I have been dealing with all these feeling.., some pleasant and some not.
I rather feel then to not feel, no matter how unpleasant. I need to deal with all of it and deal with all my demons head on and come up with approatiate coping plans that work. Acohol is not the answer, it betrayed me.