aboutdone

As usual this will be long...facts first.

1. 18yr old SD from 1st marriage, has 18month old son, and 4wk old baby with Down syndrome.

2. Alleged father is her BF of 3 years and addicted to crack and anything else.

3. Down's Baby in hospital since birth in a town 50 miles away.

4. They only see baby 1-2 times a week, for maybe an hour at best.

There is so much to this story, but bottom line is for over 2 years I have dealt with this girl crying and whining about how her BF treats her, and he really is a piece of crap. Doesn't pay child support, mooches off of her. Only gets along with her when food stamps or cash assistance posts.

She isn't the brightest, and feels the world owes her, since her Mom died when SD was only 2yo.

I raised this girl as my own, along with my own for the 13 years her Dad and I was married.

Anyways, since 18 month old was born, she pawns him off on anybody, anytime, anywhere. When he was a week old she dropped him off at my sisters for a week. Never called and checked on him or anything. Picked him up, and took to her Grandmas for another week. You get the point.

Now this lil guy is born with Downs, no one had any idea or suspected it. Now the Dad denies he could have a kid like that, and SD is so worried about the addicted BF, she doesn't care to go see baby.

For 4 weeks she has had people watch the 18 mo old claiming she was going to be with the baby, stay at ronald mcdonald house, the hospital is giving them $50 gas cards so they have gas to go see the baby, and they are using the gas cards to cruise around town, or I suspect selling them for cash. And the whole time, she is not doing what she says she is doing.

She has been asking me to watch the 18 mo old everyday for the last weeks claiming she was going to go see baby. I have been somewhat busy, so declined. I could have arranged my schedule, but since I know she isn't going to go see him, I haven't agreed to babysit or change my schedule.

Last night she calls at 11pm wanting me to drive her to hospital to see baby. I told her no. She called her 60 yr old gma, and she drove in 70 miles to pick her up, drove 50 miles to the hospital then drove 120 miles back home, getting home around 4am and agreed to watch the 18 mo old until Saturday nite, when another babysitter is to take over.

Somehow SD gets someone to bring her to town around 9am today, and calls her gma, who figures out she is not at hospital with new baby, and tells her to come pick up her son.

SD then begins a never ending barrage of calls and texts to me, asking me to watch him until sat, then fri night. She even comes to my house, just sure I am going to watch him, and tries to get me to take her side and be upset with her Grandma for not keeping the boy in the first place.

Finally...I just text her and said. NO, I am not watching your son. I am not being used so you can run around. I have my own children to care for. When you want to start taking care of the children you created, and quit pawning them off on others, I will be glad to help you out. She became furious, and was really not very nice to me. LOL.

Now, on Mothers Day she told me she never had a mom or a mom figure. When Downs baby was born, she excluded me from visitation list, so I can't even go see him, and she only calls me Mom when she wants something.

So my question is this....I feel absolutely ok with telling her no I will not be her stepping stone. I don't have any ill feelings about it, and I even pointed out she had a sitter, until she messed that up this morning.

My question....how do I be supportive of the fact she is wrapped up following her crack addicted boyfriend around and the insanity that goes with it, and be detached, with her understanding that I am here for her, when she wants to take care of her babies, and get rid of this low life??

Make sense?

I am just so sick of hearing her cry over his crap, and then putting him in front of her own flesh and blood children, especially now with a baby that needs her so very much.