You need to be sorry to yourself, not to us.
You're letting yourself down, not us.
I had a few false starts, but "relapse" doesn't need to be a part of getting and staying sober. One of my false starts or "relapses" resulted in another dui, so they are not without serious consequences.
The good news is...you never have to drink again.
The fact that you are coming here and in AA is a good sign. Keep trying, go get that white chip, and step up your recovery efforts.
What are you going to do to step up and stay sober today?