Hi Bonbon!
Here's a thought. It's okay to not take this man back even if he recovers. Are you afraid of being unfair? Of not believing long enough? Of not trying hard enough? Have you told yourself so many times that you'd take him back if he got sober that you think you have to? That you may endanger his recovery if you don't give him this chance? You won't. And it is not cruel to decide you are happier living without him.
He is not your only option. You know that. Now realize that you are not his only option. There's a whole world of people out there for him to be sober with... people who don't have a lot of open wounds inflicted by him to contend with.
Hugs,
Smoke