Originally Posted by
transformyself 
Congratulations Lulu.
I remember when I realized all of my worst fears had come true regarding my husband. He'd not only gotten a girlfriend, but was madly in love with her. Worst fears ever. And I felt--totally free~! there was nothing more for him to do. Not only that, but I didn't die. The earth didn't open up and swallow me. It was living hell for a year or so, yes, but it's also offered me absolute peace.
I started to take my life back. Like you're doing now. It's an amazing thrilling, comforting journey and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Transform, I have to say his mistress is what made me lose it. After all his years of professing his love for me and how I am the one and only and hearing this for 10 years and then "poof". It hurt my self worth, my self value and it still irks me today. It makes me feel not good enough and so irreplaceable. Even though its coming from him, who is so sick in the head he has no idea what he is doing. I know this logically. But his actions of throwing me to the curb, they hurt the most. I am making peace with this slowly but isnt it funny how the infidelity hurt me the most? Not the fraud, the alcoholism, not the lieing. It was the threat of someone better than me that hurt the most. Says a lot about me and what I need to focus on in recovery.
I wanted to get that off my chest. One day I hope to be at peace with this small piece of the puzzle that happens to have been my life.
Hugs
Lulu