catlovermi

(sorry about hijacking the thread)

You can call the AA number, and tell them where your general location is and that you are looking to visit an open 11th step meeting. Sometimes an area will have a dedicated 11th step meeting - this would be ideal. But sometimes they don't, but may have an open meeting that rotates going through the steps - an open "step meeting." The dedicated 11th step meetings tend to have a higher proportion of folks farther along into serious recovery, who have done some serious personal change and growth, and their perspectives tend to illuminate these changes.

In the absence of this option, you can pick an open meeting in a location that doesn't intimidate you (believe me there are meetings EVERYWHERE) and when you get there, afterwards ask a person there, who seems put together, their opinion on a very good meeting to try, that is open. It is fine to explain to them that you are looking to see what genuine recovery looks like; they are more than happy to have the public see recovery at work. You do not need to mention your specific circumstances why you are wanting to see recovery, or discuss any person who you know that may be an alcoholic - recovery is all about your focus on yourself.

The network in AA is unbelievable, and believe me, they can help you out if you assert yourself and ask. (If you stand around looking lost, they may not come up to you, as they are also sensitive to new folks wanting space to see a meeting their first time, or sometimes they will give a basic greeting to you, and let you lead if you want anything else.)

Once you find such a meeting, the stuff you will experience is amazing, and I found for myself that it helped me immensely to see the ANALOGOUS work needed on the codie side. I found that often it was much easier for me to see things in the AA version, then look for the analagous work on the Alanon side. There are parallels for just about everything, where recovery tools and work can be applied.

The point of all this is not that AA or the steps are the only way. But it's an excellent way to see what actual recovery looks and feels like. In my experience, once you've experienced it, it's very clear and not ambiguous. Many people struggle with what "recovery" means because their only experience has been from an outside view; they stay confused a long time. Why not go observe from the inside, and see the real deal?

CLMI