I'm sorry you are hurting and struggling.
If your depression is lasting for long periods, and you feel stuck - Please get professional help.
I noticed in your post that you refer often to your AH's recovery and the steps he is taking. I did the same thing with my A after he stopped attending AA. I wondered about X, y & z of his recovery.
I finally had to detach, let go and give him to my HP. His recovery belongs to him. His recovery may not look like mine, yours, or your AH's recovery. But the last time I saw him, he didn't look like me either.
Your AH must choose his own path of recovery. It might not include the same steps as your recovery. He may or may not stumble along the way. He may not finish the journey. It is his recovery. Give him to your HP and let them work it out together.
What can you do today to help yourself?
Can we help?