but I was appalled that at a meeting of 50 people no one put the newcomer first.
And some say there is no such thing as a "bad meeting". That is terrible. There was a great article in the Grapevine a few years ago about who is saving a seat for the newcomer? It showed on the cover a bunch of seats with keys on them (that is how many save a seat for themselves). The cool thing is, that simple actions like the one you described have the power to change a whole group for the better.