Thank you, everyone, for the support and kind words.
Feeling strong in this situation is a new thing for me. I feel strong, yet fragile, if that makes any sense. I do feel as if I am taking back control of my life, instead of feeling bitterly numb and trapped, as I have been. Now I have hope--no longer misplaced hope on him, but hope for my own plans and goals leading to a fulfilling life. This safe space here has helped me realize some hard truths over the last few months, and I thank everyone for their wisdom.