My first instinct is to wonder just how good a meeting it really was.
I've sat at tables with people with 7 ppl with 2 - 15 years and one new guy. I then listened to them all TELL the newcomer their stupid war-story ONE MORE TIME, heard them talk about all the trouble booze causes, and finish with "but I'm glad I'm here in AA." Then.....after the meeting...... I've heard those same AA regulars talk about what a great table it was for that new guy. Guess who's missing the boat? It's NOT the new man/woman.
We deal in ATTRACTION. What's attractive about a ridiculous recounting of one idiot drunk's past......mine included? Nothing. Newcomers don't even know the steps let alone understand them. They're sitting there scared as hell, wondering if they're really an alcoholic, wondering if things really ARE that bad, wondering if they'll ever be able to have fun in life EVER again, hearing all these crazy words they don't understand (alcoholic, sponsor, work the steps, powerless over alcohol, life's unmanageable, etc), and they're full of doubt that they're in the right place.
Did anyone ask that newcomer if they knew what an alcoholic was? Did anyone explain what alcoholISM is and then explain the 3-fold disease? Did anyone talk to them about what God has done in their life and how WONDERFUL life can be once you surrender and start relying upon God to do for you what you couldn't do for yourself? Did everyone who spoke TALK AT the new person? Did all the "regulars" decide they were suddenly junior therapists and wax poetic about things they "knew" about life rather than from the Big Book? How many people went up to that newcomer after the meeting, gave him/her their number, got the newcomer's number and has called the newcomer since the meeting to say hi and see how they are doing? How many people offered to be a temporary sponsor to help that newcomer understand the program and work them through the steps?
My bet...... it wasn't such a good meeting after all. That's my experience anyway.
I'm not trying bust anyone's balls and I'm absolutely NOT accusing you or your meeting of being crumby. I've been part of that crap I described above myself. I've been just as much at fault as anyone. Selfishness and self-centeredness, is the root of my problems too.
Far too often our OWN false egos don't want to admit we're doing a poor job of carrying THE message to a newcomer - Find God / Help Others.
/.rantover.\