Originally Posted by
spinwc 
I have read alot of A's who deny the problem, hide it. But what about if they admit it? Mine will look you dead in the eye and say "i am an alcoholic" whether he is sober or drunk. He doesnt hide it. He leaves the bottles out, he drinks in front of anyone and he will tell you "i got a drinking problem" or "i need to detox". Even when he dumped me two weeks ago, he said "i need to work on my issues cuz I have a ton of them". Its not like he is bragging about it, he just admits it and makes no excuses for it.
This is very confusing to me. Growing up with an A father, it was hid. He did not drink in front of us nor did he leave the booze sitting out. He would never, ever admit he had a problem either which is how i always thought most A's were.
Has anyone experienced this? How does a person who doesnt hide it differ from one who does, meaning the manipulation and games that most A's play? I have caught him in so many lies so I know he is not "honest" about everything. But i find it interesting as to why some hide it and some dont?
I think this is one of those areas where we get lost, and can't see the forest for the trees. It's in essence a useless debate in semantics.
Some alkies spend years debating whether they are "alcoholics" or "alcohol abusers" or "problem drinkers" - as if it makes any difference. Likewise for us codies, what difference does it make, if the alcoholic drinks uncontrollably out in the open, or dark in the closet; whether they announce to the world with words or not, their actions speak the same message: drinking alcohol cannot be controlled, the effects are harmful, and either they do more of the same, or change.
He drinks. You watch. You have a choice of doing more of the same, or changing.
CLMI