I guess defeat was probably the wrong word to use. What i mean is to get out of this pattern of dating someone with addictions issues. I have been through hell with him and do not want to go back to that at all.
stilllearning: thanks for shedding some light for me. what you said does make sense. I cant imagine that he has not hit rock bottom yet (job loss, promotion loss, jail, probation, relationship issues, and now health problems) but I have never been addicted so I dont know the feeling. thanks for the input!