Welcome AddingitUp!
Welcome. This group is just getting warmed up! Personally I am not working the steps (yet?). I do however acknowledge that I can not control my drinking once I pick up the first glass. It took a lot of negotiating, renegotiating, and rerenegotiating in my mind. The only times I did leave it at one was when it was not in my control. For example, last summer when my mother and I were at an art museum, she treated us both to a cocktail. Just one like non-problem drinkers do. I left it at that one, being in my mother's company and all but I really really wanted a second, third, and so forth. I only enjoyed drinking to get drunk. Not always sloppy drunk but drunk. That night after she dropped me off I did drink by myself until I went to sleep.
I'm on day 4 myself and yes, it is very hard.
I'm glad you've joined the group!