Standing by watching the losses add up.
Found out last week that husband is being demoted for the second time at our place of work. I wanted to call him to see how he was feeling about it but decided against it - thought he might turn it into another reason to blame me for his life.
So, today I had to talk to him about a work issue and he started to tell me about it himself. Then he tells me more - that he will be expected to be on call nights and weekends and work out of several other offices. I just listened and agreed that it was a lot to ask of him. At 60 yrs old he will be doing the job of someone just starting out.
Walking away I realized two things: the first is that I won't have to see him everyday anymore which has been very difficult for me, the second is wondering how this will affect his drinking or how his drinking may interfere further with his job. He will either have to be sober or risk losing his job or worse - harming someone else.
I know my focus is supposed to be on me. I am grateful to know that a way has been worked out so that I can go to work everyday and not be reminded as much of what is lost here. I do worry about his welfare still. I was with him when he was demoted the first time and remember how it felt. It was hard to see everything he worked hard for take a turn for the worse and to watch it continue to go downhill. At least he still has a job but it is sad that he has let go of so much - his family, a loving partner, a secure future, fun, friends and possibly his independence.