It is true that many codies who might not otherwise have slipped into drug addiction find there way to that disease through a codie relationship. Certainly, it played a part in my story. I always had the tendency, liked to take pain pills, tended to work my doc a bit to get a refill or two after a surgery. But I didn't develop full-blown addiction until my 40's when I began a codie relationship with a using addict who became a steady source. On my own, I lacked the nerve to buy drugs illegally, even to forge a prescription. Without someone pushing me a bit, I might not have ever developed a dependency at all.
However, I made my own choices, and I was the one who had to pay the price and live with the consequences, as we all do. I have no major regrets, because even though I wasn't in addiction before I met my exabf, I was still sick in many ways. I was looking for a way to run away from the way I felt, as is true for most of us addicts and codies. Without the pain of active addiction, I wouldn't have found true recovery either, and I wouldn't have worked on myself or become the happy person that I am today without the experience of addiction. For me, drugs were a wake-up call. But I didn't use very long, so my wreckage is not so bad as most.
This girl, Juanita, has been advised by her sponsor (and all of her network, too) to leave Juan alone. I hope that she can figure out a way to do that, although she always seems to go back to him. I hope she's finally reached her own bottom, both in codie behavior and in her addiction. She has my number, so maybe she'll call, if she is serious.
Love,
KJ