Sorry to hear. You say no one can replace her, but it sounds like you are trying to replace her with something (drinking). I'm not judging you, I've been there too. Try to keep in mind that alcohol will not take away loneliness or heart-break, but will in fact make it worse. I can honestly say that I never solved one problem with drinking. The only change it made was take a bad situation and make it worse. Don't do this to yourself.