Originally Posted by Krys

So things with my ABF have been quieter for a while. He's working steadily, I helped him come up with a financial plan and he using it to save for our future, he is actually BEHIND on his prescription anxiety meds (he has an extra 2 weeks worth left.) I should probably explain that...He has me hold his meds which at first was tough (I almost told him I didn't want to hold them at first) because he would ask for "just one extra in case of an attack" which would cause an argument. He has stopped that in the last two weeks and is taking less than he is prescribed most days (he is prescribed Klonopin 3x's a day) because he has been trying different non medicated ways of dealing with the anxiety. He still smokes weed which drives me nuts, but it seems to be his way to wean himself off things one at a time. I have backed off completely (no more snooping, checking in with him, or pointing out what he is doing wrong or giving advice) and am living a much more sane life. I let him come to me if he needs support and this arrangement has been working well for us. I have seen a marked improvement in his way of thinking...mainly that he is actually thinking things through now that I stopped thinking for him. He is not recovered by my standards, I consider recovered to be NO drugs including weed, and sticking with therapy (which he hasn't been since his therapist cannot see him during the hours he is available)to find ways to deal with the addiction. The addiction (or his addict as I like to call it) has been quiet but I worry that since he has not had a lot of therapy or gained more tools to battle it effectively, it can sneak up again during a weak moment. He is a bit cocky and thinks he learned his lesson. He is on some sort of recovery path though, he cut himself off from the crappy addict friend of his, is talking positively about our future, and is making more responsible decisions. My problem is that since we got sane around here and things with him got healthier I started really wondering if after all of this if I am still in love with him. I should add I have been working on myself (codie tendencies) as well. Is it normal to resent him on some level? I find myself wondering if he is really "the one" for me which scares me because I would not be surprised if he pops the question in the next 12 months. It all snuck up on me, one minute I was proud of him and feeling good and the next I was like "Who the heck are you? Where am I? How did I get here?" Has anyone else experienced this or am I going nuts?