Mxah - Nobody should be telling you what to do. This is your life and you can make good decisions all on your own. I agree, however, that taking this time and space right now to get your head clear is essential for making the best decisions you can. I agree that you should do whatever you need to do to get that serenity if only for a few weeks. Then, whatever you decide, you will feel confident in it.
I understand all those feelings you're having... all of them. I was in an abusive relationship much like yours and honestly, after awhile you become someone you don't recognize anymore. I think that's where you are right now. But when you take firm steps to protect your boundaries YOU WILL FIND STRENGTH, day by day.
We're here for ya. Please keep your phone with you at all times and call 911 if you feel the least bit threatened or spooked. This is a very dangerous time.
Do you have the number for the national or your local community abuse hotline? If so, give them a call after the kids are asleep...ok?