Originally Posted by
Tao 
Thank you Yeahgr8! I have to agree with you....he didn't want to do AA because "it didn't really benefit me"...but truly, he never has wanted to do the real work. Didn't then, doesn't now. So.....really at the end of the day, I'll have to seek deep inside myself if he has enough good qualities for a partner, with all the limitations that he's very unlikely to change at this late date.
Seriously there is a load of help and support out there for you, you dont have to figure this out by yourself, nor if i may say are you likely to be able to...
I don't know much about al-anon and other familiy and friends of alcoholics/addicts support groups or literature but if you dont reach out and do a little work for you now that kinda sounds like what your partner is doing and we have established that this path doesn't lead anywhere too good!
So maybe get yourself help, talk to people who have been in your situation, detach and then it will be time to make decisions:-)