Hi Dub,
You alcohol addicted, yet deprived, brain has one belief - Alcohol = feel better, so it will do everything it can to get you to give you some more of the drug that it needs.
I am glad you are hanging in there but why not make it easier and go to a meeting or two today? It will help pass the time and you will get some support to get through this and you know that the long term solution to staying sober is there. You've got nothing to lose.
Take care