hey Whitewave - Great thread. The best counselor I ever had worked in a treatment center and had been through something like 50 treatment centers himself (seriously). He didn't judge anyone but, as you can guess, he really had a passion for sobriety.
I like what justanothr and Mark said in their posts. Maybe you could use this as an exercise to practice detachment (trying to remain peaceful inside, not letting her set up shop in your head etc.). Expect her to be a royal a** and pretend like you're in a play where you're just observing her behavior and letting it roll off your back. You can still speak you mind, but it will be from the heart, instead of the anger.
Does that make any sense? The problem is it's really hard to be objective once that anger gets going, so if it messes with you too much, it's not worth it. At least you had the guts to say something to her, which is something I always had a hard time doing.
Good luck on this!!