Videodrone32:
Hang in there. From what you've already said here, you know what to do and what to expect!!! I've been off and on the opiates myself. The last four years was due to one injury of a sorts or surgery of a sorts. But I always had the desire to get off of them AGAIN at one point or another. I'm a 80% disabled veteran with 22 yrs in the Army. I've been taking Aleve and Midol for my pain. Together they do a pretty good job of relieving the painful areas. And all my female parts were removed over a year ago. I take the Midol for my back pain.
You've tricked your mind and body into enjoying the old love affair with the opiates again. As addicts! WE CAN NEVER TAKE THEM AGAIN. Our mind and body NEVER forgets that love affair. As you have found out! No matter how long we've stayed off our DOC it will consume us like a flame if we ever start taking it again. It gets worse with each time it happens. And it takes more and more quicker to reach that high of feeling good we so love.
I have over 130 days clean this go round. Do I still wish I could take a pain pill like a normal user? YES! But I know where it would lead me. Just one pill would send me into a spinning world of wanting more and more. So I don't take any. I love myself more clean, than I do strung out on pain meds. I get way more done and have more energy. I laugh more, enjoy being around people a whole lot more too.
Put the pills in a burn pile and walk away. You'll be back to your better person before you know it.
Good luck to ya. Let your family love you for being clean and happy. Not doped up and unhappy!