the result's plain to see
Thought id share this...
I am in Cairo at the moment and my debit card wasnt working, someone had obviously had a crack at guessing my pin in the Hotel in Abu Dhabi (i leave my cards out in the room) and the card is blocked...so i need to get some local currency from my credit card, not as easy as it sounds as i cant remember the pin...the bank said no way, go to the ATM which i couldnt and apparently the Hotels dont give cash on credit card here in Egypt?!
So im pretty stuffed for seeing the pyramids tomorrow...but there is a casino in the Hotel and i know i can get cash from that! So as a last resort go down and get in explaining i need to get some cash and obviously was told we will give you some cash but you have to take chips and gamble..ok then ill do that...so i went to the cash desk and got most in cash and a couple of chips and sat at the bar and ordered a coffee...
It was difficult not to smile looking over at the people at the tables then remembering how it was when i would sit there drinking and gambling and how lonely it felt, sure the big smile and acting the big guy but inside pretty dead...then i felt quite sad for the people sitting there, im sure some of them were there on holiday to have some fun but i noticed the twitching and the way some people were putting the money on the table with frustration, really a bad place to be so it started me thinking about GA and how i could help there...will be reconnecting into that in about a week when i reach Gibraltar anyway...
So i waited 10 minutes and went back to the cash desk and changed my 2 chips up for cash and left...
To anyone else that would be a boring story but it is really a miracle to be able to walk into a casino and do what i had to do and to leave, there was no feeling of nervousness of anxiety and no gut feeling of exhileration or fear...
It's at times like these that one can see the absolute tangeable evidence of the success from a detached viewpoint, for want of a better word, of the program of AA and the crucial part of the spiritual awakening as a result...
It really does work if you are willing and get the foundation in place to build upon:-)
Of course there were bottles and bottle sof booze 2 foot in front of me, its a casino, but they might as well have been bottle of juice...just no effect anymore neither recoiling or reminiscing...thats what my sponsor promised me, he said AA is a bridge to normal living...and all the other good stuff!
I had to drop to my knees and say a prayer when i got to my room because i know that what has happened is a miracle and i dont take it for granted...having that connection has done things that i could never do for myself!
My point is im not the same person that walked into AA and although i did a lot of work and was willing and continue to keep a close contact with my HP and spiritually fit, i did not find a way to rejog my brain or completely transform my personality of psyche...this was done and continues to be done for me...its really is an amzing journey and quite honestly i am quite suprised a lot of the time and very grateful!