I have not had a visceral reaction to friends and family having a cocktail too many and appearing intoxicated, but when I see someone (particularly a man) drinking one drink after the other seamingly on a mission not to have a good time but to get completely wasted, I get a definite deep-in-the gut response. I have no choice but to take myself away from them.
Of course, it is coming now as no surprise that these particular men tend to follow me around whatever the event and at the least make a spectacle of themselves around me. I've got the a**bag magnetism, what can I say? They flock my way.
I understand entirely where you are coming from and I think serenity is going to come with time and new perspectives. It helped me to stay away from any alcohol-related situations (whatever the occasion) at first until I could separate in my psyche my XABF's use of alcohol and the occasional drink or two from others.
Best to you!
Alice