Originally Posted by
intention 
I drank because I had lost the power of choice over alcohol.
Whatever "you" did, I would have drunk anyway.
"You" couldn't have encouraged me to drink, because I was going to do that anyway.
And nothing "you" could do could stop me from drinking because I couldn't have stopped myself. I was beyond human help.
So when I hear the term enabler or that someone is enabling an alcoholic in some way by encouraging or letting them drink, I wonder if it can be really so. Any thoughts?
Alcohoilsm is an illness and i have experienced the obsession and craving for drinking alcohol. Before becoming sober, there are times i had lost the power of choice in my drinking. But not everytime when i drank did i have no choice. I could put it off sometimes. Even the most horrible drunk can manage to stay off the drink for at least 24 hrs. Saying no for several days was far more difficult but not impossible. Several weeks was almost impossible. More than 30 days, well, i never got more then 30 days of not drinking. Finally getting sober got me past those lousy limits.
So without sobriety i eventually would be back to drinking no matter my choice to not drink. In that way, i totally see how every alcoholic has lost the power of choice in their drinking because of alcoholism. That does not mean i believe stories about alcoholics, happily being sober, who just get up out of the blue and simply drink. No way. Alcoholism is an illness which truly creates obessions and cravings for drinking alcohol and sobriety checks that compulsion to drink. A little honesty can easily reveal to ourselves the instant those cravings and obsessions begin. It can be checked again. I never have to drink again one day at a time.
So since i did not get sober "on my own" and my sobriety can be influenced by others and myself it only makes sense that it can also be lost and destroyed if managed badly. Living a life that is wreckless and toxic to sobriety will absolutely have me facing my alcoholism with a drink in my hand. In my 28 years of unbroken sobriety i have faced those times of again having to change my life or lose it to the ravages of alcoholism. I am not surprised to find my illness deep inside me even as my life gets better and better. I am yet an alcoholic even if sober. I can be used by others in a way which would leave me drunk if i allow my life to be lived in such a way. Thinking i am somehow bullet proof against getting drunk would be arrorgant and selfish to a horrible consequence.
I am free. I am sober. My obsessions with alcohol have been removed. My illness with alcoholism yet remains. I live a life which has influences from both good and bad experiences as i live through whatever life offers me. I am not an island onto myself.
Rob