Thank you so much everyone, really!!! From the bottom of my heart.
I'm taking in all of your advice and yes, I will be avoiding ALL slippery places and people. I even mentioned to my friend today through an e-mail that I'm sorry but I'm stepping back from our friendship for awhile until I'm stronger. Gotta take care of me now.
Going to my nooner meeting too, won't miss those. I have found my home group there, I do know that much.
I went and seen my court appointed counsellor this morning. He was a blessing to me today. He asked me, "What's your biggest fear Christine?", the first thing that came to my mind was failure. I told him that as the tears came. I have a long history that I'm won't be diving into here, but I am scared, very scared. I'm scared of this new life that lies ahead of me. What if I am a truly good person who deserves to be respected and loved. Or I am responsible and trustworthy? Oh God how will I handle that. I run, I run when the tough gets going and I run when there is good in my life. I sabbatoge things when they start feeling good or I see a success coming. Who knows. Too much for the brain right now
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I'll be back this afternoon.
Peace Out All