Hi Ronan,
I found kind of a "Doing so good Feeling" come over me after I attended my first week of AA Meetings....actually a very HYPER feeling....but since I had sobered up one time before doing it my way for a year, I was drinking again & this relapse lasted 14 more years with periods of sobriety here & there.
By this time I was 48 years old & very sick with Depression/Anxiety & all the things that happen to a daily drinker health-wise. I had this red/red face that told the whole story.
This time I followed what was suggested, got a temporary sponsor until I found someone that had a similar story to her drinking life as mine. We found out that we lived across the street from each other so it was so handy. I worked on my sobriety with my sponsor & the AA Program & had a counselor & doctor for my depression/anxiety. I had been dx with depression as a teen but when I married & found alcohol at age 20 I quit the meds & self-medicated my depression with alcohol that gradually got worse as each life event came along to take my faith away.
I concentrated on my sobriety & staying sober for the whole first year plus worked, was a single mom with an eleven year old daughter just dx with Juvenile Diabetes.
The second year of my sobriety I went back to college to get my BA Degree in Psychology & got a good job as a Mental Health Tech. I still attended AA at least three or four times a week...two at noon...& worked half time cleaning houses & grocery shopping for the Elderly in their homes. My depression was so severe but these Elderly kept me going...actually put me to shame when I would think of all they had endured in their lives & were still as active as their bodies would let them be.
Ronan, I wanted to be sober for ME more than anything else in my life at that time...my first great reward was my red/red face was gone in 9 months just as my doctor told me.
I had lots of questions in the beginning but also did a lot of changes on my part to remove slippery people & places from my daily life. I read the Big Book & used the Serenity Prayer often when in doubt about what I could or couldn't change. I still use the Serenity Prayer daily & Sober Recovery to share my experience, strength, & hope for a continuous sober life one day at a time. It is not easy but it is not hard either,...just took common sense when my mind cleared of the fogginess.
You have a very good start & lots of people here at Sober Recovery that have been sucessful getting and staying sober in many different ways. What really counts is what will work BEST for YOU. You have some control over your problem already but there may come a time you wished you had someone to confide in that you trust.
kelsh