It is great that you see your pattern. Relasping is like banging your head against the wall and saying "ouch" and doing it again. You are obviously in the pattern and you see that you feel good without that dull hangover feeling.
I have some observations about this particular page so bear with me. There seem to be a lot of folks drinking and quitting, & drinking and quitting.
That might be the best thing for you to see day after day in your first part of recovery.
At least that is my thought.
I know that you can do this.