Me too..
I was also a closet drinker in the sense that I frequently drank in front of other people (mainly my partner) but despite how much I was drinking (at least a bottle of wine, sometimes more every night) not once did he ever question my drinking, and I have never openly said am an alcoholic.
Trying to hide from him how ill I felt every day was difficult but somehow I managed it.
I am on day 5 without a drink and am not attending any support group. Reading the threads here have really helped me to understand that I am not the only one who is and has felt this way. More importantly it shows that being sober can be achieved as there are so many brave members of this forum who have done just that. I am praying that I will continue not to drink so that I can start to feel and look normal again. I have found today quite hard but I am determined. The key is to keep busy and not have ANY DRINK in the house. Good luck and dont drink!!! Just for today :-)