Callie-
This is just my opinion. I'm not an authority on anything.
But in my opinion, your Mil is sick.
If not an abuser herself. An enabler of an abuser.
You yourself say that you can't stand to talk to her. She makes you sick. Why would you trust this women, who (I agree) is sick, to take care of your children, for an hour- let alone a night?
All she CAN do- is in my opinion, use them.. to talk to. To be there for her. Listen to her whine and complain.. or feel so sorry for her, or her "poor, sick, son."
This is NOT their job! Their responsibilty!!!
Let them be children. Not children taking care of adult children!!
Your ex- is NOT your family anymore. Nor is his mother. You are divorced.
So she expects YOU to visit him? Expects you to talk to him? Expects you to arrange for his next treatment? Airfare out of state? Even for you to give him a place to stay?
Those are HER expectations.
You can CHOOSE to have different expectations of yourself! You do not *have to* nor do your children. You can live your life!! AND if they have a problem with it- it is their problem!!
Let the adults, figure it out. They CAN.. All on their own. There are others who can and will be there for them.
I would tell them that YOU and YOUR kids are taking a 3 month break!
That they should NOT expect a single thing from you or your children for 3 monthes!
At that time, they can- then tell you what they or their poor son are doing.
Hopefully it will be good news. If not? Well at least you will be more detached from the situation.
A $100 a week, on her son?? Her choice. Also your childrens father's choice to accept those funds.
You can have dreams. But dear there is also reality. Addicts who are using, do NOT pay childsupport. They don't work. It doesn't matter, what the court tells them they should do. Once the money is gone. It is gone.
Pray- hope.. but for goodness sakes don't expect someone to support your children in the future, when their mommy is paying for better food for them! And they are more than happy to take it! For that matter- isn't this women *poor*? Isn't the home that she lives in, yours?
I don't know how he CAN accept that money from his own mother?
Or for that matter the mother of his children!!
Just my opinion.. Take what you like.