Thank you so much for your responses. I knew there were others out there that feel like I do. I guess this has all made me do some soul searching and I can see the way it is going. I am scared and am not going to make any snap decisions (as I have always been known to do). As horrible as this is to say, I think it will all happen w/out me having to do anything at all. I will be surprised if he does not mess this all up for himself. I made it crystal clear this is a last chance type thing so I guess that is why I have guilt about not making it work on my end. It is just like the other post said, rehab does not change his personality.
Now, he has never done mean things to my kids like hide their stuff or anything like that. He is short w/them and has said things in a harsh way which makes me mad enough in itself. Like the above post, I think no matter what he does at this point I will be disgusted with him.
I do not attend Alanon, but do attend Celebrate Recovery which has an entire "section" for lack of better terms for codies. Thank goodness. It is a great thing and I have met wonderful people there who support me through this mess.
Thank you again for your responses and your own stories. It helps to hear and it helps to know someone else is out there.
God Bless, have a nice weekend!