Justdeal - sounds like you have an awesome family worth fighting for...the story about your daughter was very sweet
I certainly understand the horror of coming off the pain meds c/t, esp. when you're still dealing with chronic pain.
My fiancé and I have both been through what you are dealing with now...his story is very similar to yours...and he did end up on Methadone. He is 29 y/o and has pretty severe degenerative disc disease (his dr compared the level of damage to an 80 y/o man - eck, not good at all!) Like you, he has run the gamut of treatments (rehab, epidurals, e-stim, adjustments - you name it) and meds (vics, percs, oxy, fentanyl patches.) He'd finally had it with the PM doctors (def. has the same theory as you re: being treated like cattle!) and found a doctor he really trusted. He was rx'ed Methadone for pain - so he was getting a month's rx at a time. It did help with the pain and he was able to stay at a steady dosage with a moderate amount of long-term relief, however, he really hated the side effects and decided he wanted off the meds for good. Long story short, he tapered off the methadone and has been opiate free for about 3 months now.
Now, my fiancé (and I) have both been through opiate taper/detox MANY times and I will tell you -- at least for him --- Methadone w/d was the most unbearably horrific thing either one of us has ever gone through (and he went down as low as 5 mg before stepping off.) I'm not saying it's an awful medication --- it did it's job when he needed it --- but I'm not sure it was worth it after witnessing the inhumane torture he endured trying to come off it!!! I won't lie and say his original pain hasn't come back since he's been off the meds, but he is doing what he can to control it.
I wish you the best of luck and please stay strong, b/c you can get through this! You mentioned it here, but I think it's important to reiterate that years of taking opiate medications for pain can most def. sensitisize us and make us not only hyper-aware of ANY pain, but also make pain that
should be tolerable (or would be tolerable to someone who is opiate-naivé) alot more difficult for us to deal with. It will take time, but once you've gotten some 'opiate free' time under your belt, it should get easier to deal with.
Lastly, I know that your family is a big motivator for you, which is awesome....are you doing anything else to maintain your recovery and sobriety? NA and AA (or any one of the many recovery-based support groups out there) are very helpful....you'll meet alot of good people who understand what you're going through!!! Good Luck!!!