Kris, Welcome to SR!!! You have tons of support here and so many of us have been where you are.
In my early-mid 20s, I was a social drinker. A few here and there when out with friends and that was it. Suffered a loss in my life that I didn't seek counseling for and the depression, sadness became overwhelming so I turned to alcohol to cope with my relationship, job and basically life. It numbed the pain and made me forget....I could deal.
By early 30s, drinking had become part of my life like brushing teeth and showering. Each night I would drink. Yeah, I had days or weeks sober.....could drop the booze in a heartbeat if I had to get things done but it was always lurking in my mind when I would be free and alone to get my drink on. It consumed me.
By 34 I was getting divorced and the drinking now was all I knew so I kicked that into full gear. Every moment not working or out and about was spent getting as wasted as possible. I didn't try to get drunk, didn't really want to but it just happened. I couldn't put the bottle down.
2008 was the year of my divorce and the year I suffered my first panic attack. I thought I was drowning and couldn't stop shaking. Heart racing and pounding and was certain it was a heart attack. Sweaty with chills and I felt like I was going to faint because I was so dizzy. Went to the ER and I was ok. From then on....I had anxiety and finally another massive panic attack that brought me to the ER. I was honest about my stress, alcohol abuse, etc. I was put on Xanax to take as needed when I had an attack.
The Xanax didn't help me and just put me to sleep so I stopped taking that and of course I still boozed because I felt that was the only thing to help me now with the depression/anxiety.
Finally, I quit drinking and for almost 3 months the anxiety was mild and not one major attack. I could deal until I relapsed after a pity party due to an injury. Started feeling those dark feelings of an attack coming and wham....I was back on the bottle like we had never been apart.
My relapse was about a week and I the anxiety/panic was 24/7 and worse then I ever had before. It wouldn't stop.....I couldn't walk, talk....move or anything. I would get maybe a few minutes of focus and then the chest pounding, drowning, sense of dread all around me kicked up again.
What did I do? When you feel like you are looking death in the face.....you have nothing to lose. I emptied the remainder of the booze down the sink and went through a hellacious detox alone, at home.....convulsing....blah blah. It was a horrid sight to behold.
I have now over 30 days sober and guess what? Not one panic attack or anxiety. I get little twinges of anxiety since I have had some pretty big stressors come up but I can handle that easily.
Point of my long winded ramble is to tell you that you can achieve sobriety. We think in our minds that alcohol helps but it actually makes anxiety worse. I can't say that quitting drinking will resolve depression/anxiety completely but man it will help and give you the clear mind to look at things rationally. If you think meds will be needed then there is nothing they will do for you while on the sauce. You won't see the any benefits of meds since alcohol is a depressant.
Wish you the best but getting sober is the first step to addressing everything in your life. Your post hits home because anxiety and drinking.....well that was me. I hope you don't wait until you are rock bottom.....hoping not to wake up like I did for you to toss the bottle.
God Bless.