Hi and welcome to the truth.
Sounds like an honest post. Glad you came here and posted and left it.
You are going through a rough time. You may be depressed, you may just be sad that you are separated from those you love. Give yourself a break and talk or read or whatever you want.
I am a reasonably strong person. Been through a lot and some days I do what need to and others I just sit. (well actually I play a lot of arcade) The point is to take your time to heal and move forward. There is no timetable for that. If you are normally a bounce back person, you will come around in your time.
If another's journey helps - I come around to my old self for a day or two so I know I am still there. So I don't worry about the other days b/c I know I will be back.