My AD did not drive with her kids in the car cause she had no car. However, she was "out of it" enough to where she could not provide adequate care to her two girls (ages 8 and 9). Last April, she was addicted to Xanax, and "forgot" to get them off the school bus. The school called me and I promptly left my job to get them from school. This happened twice. Several times, the girls would call me at night and I'd ask where mommy was, and they'd say "she's sleeping" (meanwhile it's 6:30 - 7 pm). I'd go pick them up and bring them to my house. I, like you, had them every weekend cause that was when she'd party the most. I thought I was protecting the girls. I finally realized I was enabling my daughter. I gave her the ultimatum, get help or I'm going to court to get your girls legally. Of course, she got help, went to inpatient for two whole weeks!!!! (sarcasm) while I watched her girls. The first day of school this year, she "forgot" to get them off the bus again! School called me, I ran and got them. Same pattern again! I made it too easy for her again! Mom will just get them from school, somebody always comes to the rescue. But, my granddaughter told her teacher how her mom takes pills, drinks and sleeps alot, and school called cps.
I have had my granddaughters since Sept 2009. Dealing with cps is not fun, believe me, and I'm having a hard time getting custody due to my husband being an alcoholic in recovery. But I am upfront and honest w/cps, and I am very proud of my granddaughter for telling her teacher. My daughter still has not gotten the help she needs, but what I have come to realize is, I was trying to "protect" the girls, but yet I was enabling her. Now that I have them, I am keeping them safe, but no longer enabling her. I totally agree with Pelican, it's almost as if you are "rewarding" her drinking by picking up her child (you need to remember, alcoholics do not think like you and I). You picking up your grandson from daycare is enabling her to drink and get away with it. No consequences there! There really is no easy solution for you here, but I know others will come up with some great ideas.