I hear what you are saying and you are 100% correct. I am taking a responsibility away from her. She does not have the control or the decision making to not put him or the other kids in danger when she drives drunk.
What I hear you guys say, either right or wrong, is let her put those kids in danger and I should just accept it and pray and hope nothing happens to them. I cannot do that. Children need nurturing and protecting by all adults, they did not choose to be in danger and they trust.
This is my main problem with Al-anon groups, is that I am not doing anything to stop her from drinking or drive her to drinking, that is her choice and yes it does affect me but I can deal with that. The kids don't get a choice. You want me to accept that what happened in New Jersey(?) where a drunk/high mother killed herself, 3 nephews/nieces, her 2 year old daughter and 2 other people because she was chugging vodka and driving is acceptable and inevitable.
I believe it is for my daughter, but I am not going to allow the kids to be in that danger if I can ( and there is very little I can do). If I knew this about other children, I would be doing the same thing. I pray every night to protect children from adults so that they can grow up and be happy.