mistermister, welcome to sober recovery.
i'm glad ann suggested getting assistance from a doctor - that's what i was gonna say. i think you're in over your head.
it's hard to break the need to be their savior, their understanding gentle friend. but you are simply not qualified. also, you are emotionally involved. i hope you can step back and that she will seek out REAL detox and recovery.
i agree that the sal. army's program is good for many folks, espcially (imo) those who have been at for many years. it's long-term and that's important too.