19 years old - Addiction counselling, few months Abstinence
21 years old - Total isolation inc no job, 6 months Abstinence
22 years old - Total isolation other than Thursday nights where would drink 12 glasses of wine, 9 months 'Moderation'
24 years old - Consequence, failed business in Spain etc, 6 months Abstinence
27 years old - GF, new job, Kick boxing etc, 9 months 'Moderation' with couple drinks every month and then back into resultion
29 years old - Recurring throat infection set off by binges meant was ill for a few weeks after each drinking night, 1 year 'Moderation'
30 years old - Quit job, move near to family, total isolation, 6 months 'Moderation' drinking once every 3 weeks
31 years old - Geographical to foreign country, 6 weeks Abstinence
32 years old - Girl of Dreams (eyes roll),total isolation except her, 4 months Abstinence
34 years old - Consequence moving back into mothers, 4 months Abstinence
35 years old - Resonance Treatment ($4000), 6 weeks Abstinence
37 years old - Addiction counselling, antabuse, anti depressants, 5 months Abstinence
38 years old - Rehab ($9000), 5 weeks Abstinence
38 years old - AA sober since due to working the steps and spiritual awakening
i've never written that before, how insane is that all...all that time wasted on pointless efforts...it never once occured to me that i was ill, i thought that i should be able to make a choice and man up and people would tell me that too...
I met a good friend in AA, he's been sober since 25 and i said how come you have got in so young...he was drinking 24/7 by 22 and had the psychological problems incuding breakdown by 24...guess that will take you to where you may need to go before really being willing to change?!
Honestly i am sitting here and it seems like another person lived all that...i'd strongly advise you to go back to AA and work the steps which is the whole point of AA and get your spiritual awakening...
By 38 i had begun seriously isolating, GFs weren't an option anymore and i had pushed family away, i just didn't want to hurt anyone anymore, couldn't stand another person looking at me with those sad eyes and didn't want to be hurting anymore...i would have killed myself definitely if it had gone on a little longer but most alcoholics will keep going until they drop dead affecting negatively anyones life they come into contact with...check out family and friends section if you need anymore proof of that!
AA saved my life!
Good luck, was good to write that down:-)