I'm definitely seeing all sides to this discussion and think that it is an excellent one.
As I think about it I sometimes feel that whatever codie issue that I am working through takes a backseat to the pain that accompanies life with an active abuser and/or one that is in and out of sobriety. And that makes me reluctant to post. Which I know is not the best mind set.
The Alanon meetings that I like the best are the ones that really keep the focus on me and my side of the street....how to handle my feelings and emotions vs. the latest that my "qualifier" is up to. I like the focus to be on "why am I behaving/allowing/pertuating what is happening in my life vs. why can't my addict be different and what he is up to.
As I think about this topic I think that the main difference between SR and "live" meetings is that on SR not every one is working nor even knows about a program of recovery. In the Anon meetings, there are beginner meetings that help to explain how the focus is on us and not our addicts (even if the addict is clean) and exactly what that looks like in a meeting. There is no giving advice and no cross talk.
I agree that shining the light is the aspect of recovery that is so important. Early on I saw that Greets and Ann had what I wanted. If they had not been around I bet that I wouldn't have stayed around. Not everyone that posts here is actually interested in an Anon program but I've found that for me it's the only thing that works so those are the posts that generally participate in more frequently. Nothing changes if nothing changes so I'm going to accept this as a challenge to look at myself here.
I'm going to become more conscious of initiating (and responding to) posts that help me to focus on the concepts and issues of recovery vs. the details of what is happening in my life. I love being in a meeting and being able to bring up a topic and opening my mind and soul to other ways of looking at things. Maybe looking at it that way would help to meet some of the needs that we are feeling.
So....as usual...thank you all of my SR family for being you!