I have to agree with Posie. He doesn't need to apologize because that is not what pushes your buttons. From your post. I read he relies on heavy guilt to keep you in line, and that is just what he is trying to do, keep you in line.
'Tell my kids I'm sleeping in my truck.' That's a guilt trip verging on the rediculous, and yet he knows it will work on you.
He storms out because that dramatic pouting makes you feel like the eternal bad guy and his bad behavior gets written off time and time again.
Even now, as angry as you feel at letting him back in only to have him pitch a fit, you feel the need to minimize his behavior and minimizing a physical assult, I'm sure, is impossible to believe, but it's what we do. You are not alone.
With his track record of guilt riding, I would not be surprised if he made you feel absolutely horrible for his having to choke you in the first place.
In my experience, my EX was all about the apologies with the occasional tears thrown in. He could really turn it on and look pitiful. I have this cynical view of it now because I have finally accepted it for what it was, manipulation. If he really meant the apologies and really meant the vows to quit and never behave that way again, it wouldn't have gotten worse, and he wouldn't have drunk more, he wouldn't have threatened me, and I would probably still be with him. The last contact I had from him was at the end of a long run of voice mails before I blocked his number. He started out apologetic and well meaning as usual and by the last one, he was raging at me. No apology would ever last with him even when it came right down to it because he never was sorry...never.
Only distance and clarity could help me see what was really going on. With distance and clarity you too can become resistant to the manipulation.
It's okay to feel bad, you're human. It's okay to wish things could have worked out, we all do. It's okay to hope he gets better in the future and your kids can at least see their father well, that's because you're a mom.
But...it is not okay for you to be in contact with him. He made that choice by trying to hurt you and now you have to stay safe. Your children need you. If he takes you down with him, what will they be left with?
Be safe. Keep posting.
Peace.
Alice