Thanks Topspin...Hepeful I am having a roung day 4 as well too...probbly b.c I didnt do much for my recovery today. I was very busy with errands and household things I was putting off while drunk using I had to take care of today and besides SR didnt do much else, and some praying of course too.
I feel a bit depressed, quite a bit... Also very tired which has been the usual but I didnt take my afternoon nap (which I am very lucky I do get to take but wont be able to for much longer hopefully if I get a job)
For those who have been following me I had spinal fusionsurgery and I am in a lot of back pain today more soreness I guess b/c I also took a good amount of Somas while drinking and that was my magic release for when i felt this way, but I think am pretty sure my body just is tryng to trick me b/c it wants that but isnt getting it so I am very sore, and am starting to see how much I will be dealing with my pain when I am completely done detoxing and maybe I am done and thats why I feel this way?
PAWS perhaps???
I know I will be going through a lot and have begun to help other with my fire and inspuiration for sobriety but I have to be honest when i feel bad as well and thats me today, I also did get the job I interviewed for yesterday which is the first I have gone into with that sober fire and excitement and pretty much was told I had the job but they told my recruiter I was a little too perfect and that they thought I was "overqualified" and would "get bored" or leave in a couple months when I got a better offer.
I felt better about it earlier just trying to tell myself that God is not giving me a job yet becasue He is trying to give me time to really straighten myslef out first and really have a clear hed so I can perfom wonderfully at whatever position I end up in so that I can not only get it BUT CAN KEEP IT!
I do feel a little crappy about the job tonight though b.c I have to take a step down from my hard core managment career I was previously in and need a 9-5 ish b.c I have a daughter and AM going to be a part of her life and the working 60-80 hours a wekk, days night and weekends jus tisnt going to work for me anymore no matter how much of a pay cut I will be taking.
I also need to keep my home and make money even if it is signifigantly less I need something to at least cintribute towards my mortgage, but I will try to focus on the fact God has a plan for me and it was not that job ass perfect as it seemed to me
He must have someehtingg even better that is better suiter for my recovery
That has to be it right ?
Back to trying to read my book and watch TV as I really cant focus much today either and am kind of all over the place mentally but w/ no energy.
So Im off for now, hopefully by next check in Ill be feeling MUCH better.
Thanks Guys!
<3 Dreams!