Hi jade!! Your life reminds me of what mine was like and then it got worse. While I was married I started going to AA meetings and I found tons of support there. I didn't stay sober however because my life was pretty much the same, bad marriage to someone who was also completely uninvolved with me as his wife, that was depressing for me, so in turn, I just kept drinking, what was the point?
I went through a horrible divorce and eventually ended up in treatment, you wouldn't believe the fight I had to get what I NEEDED for myself with zero insurance, nadda, nothing, but I did it.
Taking care of ME was the best thing I have ever done for myself, I have my life back and for me, I'm happy to not be married to a man who was always about himself.
I'm not trying to point blame, just share where we have some common ground. I lost myself, who I was in that marriage, and I drank until I was one sick woman.
You have found a wonderful site here, it does and can get better. As for support, I highly recommend hitting an AA meeting, even if you go and just sit and listen. Hit a couple, if you don't like one, try another, they can all be different. You'll be amazed at the support you'll get at a meeting when you share as well.
My best and welcome to SR!!!!
