hi someone else-
i think that once you get a bit of time and space away from AH, that you will return to yourself and rediscover your joy.
i do understand becoming tense at just the smell of alcohol on their breath. and perhaps it is true that it's only one drink but after years of being lied to, who can blame us for not believing anymore?
and as for him accusing you of the fun being gone in you, one can have fun without alcohol. they always turn it around and blame us. really, how much fun is it to always be the responsible parent and not be able to count on our partner?
i hope you do get your separation.
what's the plan?
naive