Jade - I have to agree with Dee. It's about acceptance, finally coming to accept and KNOW that if I start drinking again, I'll just want to keep drinking. If I drink a bottle one night and swear to stop tomorrow, I'd still want another bottle the next night.
Addiction means doing something even when you don't want to. The further away I get from the last drink, the clearer the insanity becomes.
I'm glad you're here and I'm pulling for you!!