Bexs, you survived and had the good sense to come back here. Now you have to take the bull by the horns and tackle this one day at a time. Many of the people here who now have months or years of sobriety fell off the horse a time or two, but their inner strength is helping them conquer these chemical demons. You have it, too, every bit as much. I never thought I had that power but I do. We all do.