Originally Posted by
tam 
my therapist did say that in a way we will go through mourning and I think that is pretty true.
you know, my dad killed himself when i was about 17, and i remember feeling really, really bad, but i'm going to be brutally honest here - every serious break up i've been through has felt a thousand times worse. this is going to sound really messed up, but when someone is dead they aren't out doing things without you. there isn't anything to wonder about, read too far into, speculate, over-analyze. my imagination is way too over-active and it's the not knowing part that just kills me.
Originally Posted by
tam I do have many good days (more now than I used to) and now take more care of myself as well. it takes time.
I now cook,run,exercise, but that was after healing. I also allow myself to cry its okay and I am able to talk about the ordeal now (not as intense as in the beginning as I can finally do/talk about other things) which I couldnt for a long time before/after he left. Please continue getting support on here, meetings or a therapist, it really really helps. wish you the best you can do it
how do you "heal"? i've been avoiding going through the dirty laundry cause i don't want to see his clothes, and i can't look at the pictures on my phone cause they'll break me to pieces. i cry the whole way to work, put eyemakeup on after i park, and walk in and pretend everything is peachy all day.
tomorrow is saturday.
it's going to be really, really bad. he may have been an addict and we may have done some messed up things to each other, or accepted some messed up things from each other, but he...
he was my best friend. we went out one night cause we each thought the other wanted to, and when we got home to our doggies and our bed and our popsicles and our HOME, we both confessed that we'd've rather done that but thought the other really wanted to go out.
he was my best friend, man. this sucks.