Catkill,
I think you're missing the meaning of the OP's post. This is about her examining her emotions and motives around getting inside her husband's head and playing the games you reference.
She is looking to end those behaviors but to do so, she has to aknowledge them and own up to them. That's acceptance and taking one's own inventory. She is here to seek understanding from those who have felt those feelings not hear anamosity or repremand for it.
Your wife may be having these same feelings but has not accepted her role in your addict/partner relationship. Your recovery is about you and how you intend to continue your path of sobriety whether she changes or not.
I learned in time to let these feelings go and to stop stiring things up for my XABF's to get a rise out of him. We are here to learn that as part of recovery and Lulu is exploring that lesson here.
Best to you in your continued sobriety.
Alice