Originally Posted by
MissFixit 
There are many relationships where one party is the adult and the other one is the child. That dynamic is not specific to A's. It is a dynamic that evolves over time if you let it.
Your AH probably didn't just start wanting you to help him, right? If you have historically done things for him, then that is what he is used to. You both created that dynamic. Are you just noticing now?
If either of you changes, then the dynamic changes.
You're right.
Kind of like going no contact. Once you do that, your A will start reacting to your behaviour, rather than you reacted to your A all the time. It changes the dynamic of the codependent relationship.
Except the A's reactions can become downright sadistic.