"Originally Posted by kittykitty:
I can't believe he actually blew into that thing every twenty minutes for you."
Mine would do it, no problem at all. Beacause he desperatly needed me to believe him everything is ok. The more I kept on pushing the more he was willing to do to prove me wrong. And the simple truth is he didn't do it because he is a bad person, lier, but because he is an A. One does not exclude each other by default.
Starcrossed, I was like you for a very long time. I needed him to confirm it, to come clean. It used to get so crazy, one couldn't tell who was crazier there, me or him. I kept checking up on him, in every way you could think of. I'd searched the house and find empty bottles, and even finding them wasn't enough for me, I'd brought them to him, and wanted him to admit. he never did.. You wouldn't believe the excusses he'd came up every single time.
What was I really doing there? I guess I was looking for the final proof, the one that's going to make him say: YES, yes I did it, yes I'm an A, yes I will stop, I will change... and off we are, riding in a sunset.
Do I have to say it never happened?
I was delusional. What did I think? That he doesn't know he is drinking, and by waving empty bottles in front of his face or whatever other crazy thing I came up with, will make him realize?
In time I've learned that's the stupid game I'm playing, and it's not getting me anywhere. I've learned to trust my own gut, and I don't need him to confirm it.
So I have to say maybe you should ask yourself what do you think you're going to achieve by testing him with a breathalyzer?
It's not a power struggle, if you make it to be one, you are just making things much harder for yourself.
I know how hard it is to be where you are now. But believe me it only gets worse until he, himself, decides it's time for a change. In my experience, by doing what you're doing now I've pushed my AH even more into denial. As maybe if he wasn't using all that energy to fight me and prove me wrong, maybe he'd have use some of it to address his own issues. maybe he wouldn't, but one thing is for sure: I didn't help.